Losing someone close to our hearts is never easy but not necessarily difficult. It does become hard when you refuse to accept it. Lemony Snicket expressed it best in Horseradish: Bitter things you can’t avoid, “Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever.
The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.”
As they always say, words can never express how much you grieve for a lost loved one. That’s why there are those who unconsciously shrink on their shells and put on that poker face. They wouldn’t know any other means of letting their sorrow out. Others still fall into depression and worse, fall to insanity. The role of other stronger members of the family then is to support each other in love and strength. Crying out loud or in silence together is a huge therapeutic healing. Saying words of encouragement, reading the Bible together and singing songs also helps.
But of course, the family, relatives and close friends of the deceased cannot stay together until bedtime. When the lights are off and everybody else goes home, you’re on your own. You deal with loneliness, with tears and most of all, with countless memories you had with your loved one. When it becomes unbearable, it helps to turn on the lights and write it out. Write everything without exceptions.
Write until you’ve exhausted every word you know. Address it to anyone, to your deceased loved one or maybe to God. Let it all out. When you feel you’ve had enough, feel how comforting that was. After the grief, let that feeling of melancholy sink in. Reminisce the past spent with him. This will surely bring a smile. Write this out. This is the best time to write the best things which happened to both of you. You may not know it but you’re already writing a eulogy. Eulogy, memorial card, thank you card (addressed to your deceased loved one) or any card you may call it, it’s the best when your heart’s on it.