“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” – Kahlil Gibran
The passing away of a loved one is never an easy thing to deal with. For sudden and unexpected deaths, unspoken feelings and unresolved issues add up to the burden of the tragic loss itself. How do you say sorry or I love you to someone who has passed on to eternity? If you say it through prayers will he hear you? Or he knows because he’s looking over you from above?
These questions exist since time immemorial. But it never rings truer than now as you yourself experience the pain. When dealing with pain, sometimes it is best to keep away from any reminder of him for awhile. Holding on to things he gave you, going back to his favorite places and others will not help you get through the process. It is a symbolic act of wanting to believe that he just might be there at his favorite spot, well and alive.
For as long as you keep doing this, you become your own hindrance in moving on and letting go. Once you’ve accepted the fact and reality sinks in, then you can already start reliving the life he left behind. You can now go to the places you went to together, read the notes he gave you and hug that teddy bear he bought for you. But as always, there is a very thin line between shock and acceptance. You are the only person capable of knowing when you have crossed the line.
You know that you’ve successfully crossed the line when you think of him and you smile. If you cry just by the thoughts of him, then you haven’t accepted reality yet. If this is so, resort to doing things not directly related to objects reminding you of him. Planting Custom Seed Packets for instance is a good way of making your memories of him tangible for everyone to see (when the seed grows into a beautiful tree or plant).
These plants are a good way of keeping track of your grieving time. When it has grown fully, you may have fully recovered as well. And the plant will be your reminder of his once loving presence in your life. Plantable Bookmarks and cards are also an option. By the time you’ve grieved enough, you may want to come and take a look at those bookmarks and cards (to reminisce memories with him).