Sympathies expressed don’t always come out the way we want them to. It’s a puzzle how some people simply have talents of getting their messages across while others just can’t do it right.
When in doubt, use the traditional way of saying condolences by writing it out. You can never go wrong for as long as you read the note again and again to make sure there’s nothing offending about it.
Conveying sympathy messages can be done by doing acts of kindness or gestures expressing sympathy. Gestures don’t have to be explained but the challenge is on staying consistent and true to what your message. Another way (and is the most common) is by writing. The power of written words cannot be denied. Even the Bible does recognize how words take exactly the form of what they convey.
Writing condolence notes and prayer cards are by far the most challenging letters to make. This may either break or make bridges between the writer and the bereaved. So how do you compose the perfect words to alleviate the pain of losing a beloved? There may not be the perfect words but there is such a thing as the perfect time. The bereaved family wouldn’t want anything else in the world right now but some words to sustain them as they go through unbearable pain and sorrow.
The calls and flowers sent cannot substitute what written words can do to a grieving heart. Even your presence during a memorial service or during interment is nothing compared to condolence notes heartily written. Compared with eulogies, condolence notes are far reaching than the former. Spoken words are readily forgotten unlike the written words to which you can always go back to whenever you feel like reading them all over again.
There is a silent emotional connection created as well with this kind of expression. We cannot deny the fact that whenever we write, we can’t help but get our hearts and souls involved. The message (and more) is then conveyed to the reader. The feelings that go with it definitely do not go unnoticed. Here are a few of the safest and most commonly used words you can use:
It was with a profound sense of loss that I learned of your husband’s death.
We are all grieving with and for you.
We share in your grief and send you our love.
Our love is with you always.
My heart and my tears are with you.