When someone you love has died, you have an inner need to mourn. Mourning is an open expression of grief or sadness and is an important part of healing. You can experience feelings of fear, emotional pain, overwhelming emotions and loneliness.
Everyone is different as far as how they will encounter and experience grieving. It varies depending on the type of relationship you had with the deceased or how close you were to them. The way in which they passed, your religious beliefs, and support systems are also a factor. Because we are all in a unique place, it is important to grieve in your own way and time. Yes, it is good to read books on grief but don’t expect the stages to affect you in the exact same way. Take one day at a time and deal with emotions as you experience it.
Talk About Grief
Talking about your sadness and grief is healthy. Ignoring it or bottling it up inside will only hurt your progress and keep the healing from entering in. Share your emotions with family and friends who are sympathetic and do not judge. Seek those who will walk along side of you through this journey to healing and avoid those who tend to be critical. You can also consider joining a grieve support group with others who are on the same journey to healing. Churches and other special groups relating to the death of a loved one are often available so check your local area.
Experiencing A Multitude of Emotions
Losing someone makes an impact emotionally, physically and spiritually. It affects the very core of who we are as human beings. During the time of grieving, you may experience many emotions at the same time or they may occur following each other. Emotions such as confusion, sadness, anger, guilt or fear may make a way into your head slowly or quickly. Allow yourself to learn from them and try not to suppress it. Let it take it’s course because they are normal after a time of loss. If you find you are overwhelmed with such emotions and are unable to handle them, seek counseling or someone you can confide in and talk them out by expressing yourself in a healthy manner.
Experience a feeling of numbness is also healthy. This means that it allows your emotions to catch up with what your mind has told you. It does have a valuable part by insulating you from the reality of death until you are better able to accept what you are struggling to believe.
No doubt grief leaves a person physically exhausted and you may not want to do much of anything due to tiredness or lack of motivation. You may also experience mental fatigue which hinders your ability to make clear decisions. Be sure to get daily rest and if you find you are not sleeping, nurture yourself by finding activities such as reading before bed to promote sleep. Take care of yourself physically, lighten your schedule, if possible until you feel a little more stronger physically to take on a work schedule or your normal day to day routine.
Finding and developing a support system during this time is a good idea because it helps you to be accountable and provides consistency with being around supportive people. Whether its a best friend, other family members or a grief support group within your church, it can be of tremendous help. Just being around others who are walking the same path as you can be very comforting. Sometimes, physically being in such a group without having the need to speak can provide some level of comfort as well.
The funeral or celebration of life service is also an integral part of the beginning process because it allows you to express your grief outside yourself. It helps provide caring people around you who also cared and loved the deceased as they pay tribute in attendance. Even if it is a small ceremony, it is helpful to your overall well being.
If you are a spiritual person, read the Bible or get involved with others within your church who may have walked the loss of someone. Many churches provide support groups such as GriefShare which promotes a comforting environment with others and helps you to understand loss and the emotions you may be experiencing. If you are angry with God for taking away your loved one, seek a trusted prayer partner to pray for you and listen.
Treasure your memories because they are a lasting part within your heart that can never be taken away. Memories that you’ve shared and experienced together in life whether they make you laugh or cry will always remain with you. It may not be easy thinking about them during the grieving period but eventually you will learn to better handle and reflect upon them without pain.