Losing a member of the family is stressful, painful, and agonizing. It causes grief that takes time to heal. With these overwhelming emotions comes the things that you need to prepare for the funeral such as the place of the wake, the date of interment, and funeral thank you cards to be given to everyone who showed up. if you have family and friends that can help you plan this, then it is good but if you don’t, hiring a funeral service manager that can arrange such small details for you is highly advisable.
Types of Funeral Thank You Card
Sending a funeral thank you card with a handwritten thank you note speaks a lot to the one who will receive it. With different options to send a message such as text or email, people appreciate it when someone expresses gratitude in a personalized way such as a handwritten thank you card.
A thank you card can be formal or informally written. There are three types of thank you cards that you can send to families and friends who stayed next to you during your dark times, it can be:
- A handwritten thank you card – if you don’t have time to order online or ask your funeral director if they have funeral thank you cards, you can just go ahead and write your personal thank you card and send it to those who deserve it
- A customize thank you card – if you are too busy with other matters, you can ask your funeral director to send out customized thank you card, you just have to sign it
- A customize thank you card with your personal thank you message – if you have time to spare, you can choose your own customized thank you card and write a brief thank you note to make it more personal
Regardless of the type of funeral thank you card you will send, it will still surely show your gratitude to those who stayed with you at such a bad time.
Writing a Funeral Thank You Card
Regardless if you are writing a formal or informal thank you card, make sure to include the following:
- The name of the receiver - writing the name of the intended recipient of your card means that you thought of them, and you are aware of their presence during your (family’s) dark days
- The message – thank each recipient for their specific contributions, even small ones. Thank a friend for coming in and sitting for an hour with you or thank your cousin for taking care of your cat during the funeral
- Say what it meant to you/ your reason for sending a thank you card – tell the person why you are sending them a funeral thank you card. Aside from showing gratitude, this is also comforting to some grieving families because it helps them realize how loved they are or the deceased family member
- Sign it – always sign your funeral thank you card with warm words such as ‘all my love’, take care’, ‘warmly’ or ‘always’
Who Should You Thank After the Funeral?
Having a funeral is exhausting. While dealing with the grief and sadness of losing a loved one, you still must deal with a lot of things in order to give your loved one a deserving funeral. When relatives and friends step in, then you should at least take note of them to thank them after the funeral. You can also write their names in a small notepad or notebook that you can take with you from time to time, so you won’t forget about them.
Here are some of the people that you should automatically send a funeral thank you card.
- The clergy (Pastor, Priest, Deacons, Elders of a Church)
- The people who carried the funeral casket or coffin or pallbearers
- Those who sent flowers, food, memorial gifts, etc.
- Those who gave or donated cash
- Those who sent sympathy cards
- Those who regularly stayed during the wake and helped in assisting other guests
- Those who personally comforted or talked to you during the wake/funeral
Accepting the Challenge of Writing and Sending a Funeral Thank You Card
For some, writing and sending a funeral thank you card is the last thing they want to do after holding a funeral. They say writing such is like accepting once again that your loved one is totally gone forever. You probably don’t want to become ungrateful, you just can’t face the reality yet and you just want it to set in slowly. If you are one of these people, how can you overcome the challenge of writing and sending a funeral thank you card?
- Choose your preprinted funeral thank you card first
- Write a few each day, start with those you vividly remember (for helping out during the funeral or for the flower arrangements they sent)
- Consider asking for help if you think it is overwhelming
- Do not force yourself to write anything, just so you can finish it
- Remember that there is no time frame when it comes to sending a funeral thank you note, your friends and relatives will surely understand if it takes 2-3 months before they receive one
- If you feel like crying while writing, do so. Do not stop yourself from grieving even after the funeral. Remember that writing a funeral thank you card to those who helped you is also a way of comforting yourself, so grieve
- Don’t write long messages – if you already have a preprinted funeral thank you card, then keep your message short but personal